A controversial commentary argues that personal history and consistency—not sudden transformations—shape how relationships and commitment are viewed.
“Some women spend their 20s and even the bulk of their 30s living as 304s—jumping from one man to the next, having children outside of marriage, and relying on men to pay bills, hair, nails, or other luxuries.
They are fully immersed in the streets, enjoying temporary pleasures without thinking about long-term consequences. This lifestyle might feel fun at the moment, but it often comes with lasting implications.
Then suddenly, these same women decide that they want to change. In their late 30s, they say, “I want to settle down. I want a family. I want to be a wife. I want to be renewed.” They turn to the church, start quoting scriptures, and insist on waiting until marriage before getting intim@te with their partners.
They expect men to respect this new phase of their lives and even put a ring on their finger before intimacy can happen.
Here’s the hard truth: it doesn’t work like that. You can’t live a life of being “ran through” and then suddenly expect men to wait until marriage.
Your past choices, your children, and your experiences shape the reality of your relationships.
Men aren’t going to suddenly ignore everything that has happened before. Trying to combine a 304 lifestyle with a sudden holy-roller phase is unrealistic, and it often leads to disappointment.
Christianity is not a mask to hide a 304 lifestyle—it’s a genuine path, and it should be respected as such. It’s not cute, and it’s not godly to try to cover past choices with sudden moral rules.
Women need to be honest with themselves and with men, understanding that respect, love, and marriage come from consistency, not last-minute transformations.
Real growth takes time, not sudden switches” — Lady gives blunt take on 304 lifestyle and holy rollers
